


on my knees and out of luck

by Bugsquads



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Basically just a love letter to Nora Darhk, F/M, The power of friendship, Truth Spells
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-09-05 21:51:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16819156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bugsquads/pseuds/Bugsquads
Summary: ‘Nora doesn’t have a problem with the truth. She does have a problem with not being able to choose when she delivers it. With not having agency over her own decisions. That’s the way she’s spent most of her life, captive to her father's agency and the Order’s agency and Mallus’ agency. Never able to use her own.’There’s a princess, a truth curse, and Nora’s trying to figure out how to tell Ray she loves him in her own words whilst working out who she is after prison.





	on my knees and out of luck

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by an anon who sent @princesstomaz a message on tumblr detailing the truth curse plot line combined with my own need to see Nora and Zari being friends/Nora becoming one of the legends. The idea got stuck in my brain and, after a whole year of writers block, it got me writing again!!

Nora’s been on the waverider a little over a month when it happens. Or so she thinks, but it’s harder than expected to keep track of time on a timeship. 

She never expected to make it out of time prison within the year, had resigned herself to half a lifetime behind a locked door, scribbled love letters and stolen visits in between Ray’s missions. By some miracle, the universe is on Nora’s side for once, and someone out there decides that she’s done enough time, enough atoning for her sins. Demon possession clause, that’s what they call it. (They could give it any name in the world, spell it out with hieroglyphics as far as she cares.) A day later, they’re handing her a plastic bag filled with the clothes she wore when they processed her, handing her a pen to sign the release form, and then she’s stepping through a portal into the waverider with Ava. 

It’s so sudden that it takes her days to process, to adjust her mind from hours alone in the quiet to being surrounded by bickering and laughter and the smell of proper food. To adjust from  _ prisoner  _ to Nora Darhk. 

They give her a plain room in a quiet corner, steps away from Ray’s, and it’s strange to have something of her very own. 

“It’s yours,” Ray tells her, smiling softly down at her as she takes it all in. “For as long as you want it.”

“I don’t…” Nora is speechless, unable to remember the last time she had somewhere she could really call home. Somewhere filled with possibilities, to fill up with a future. “I don’t have anything to put in here,” she settles on, unsure what to say, how to articulate the buzz of emotions in her head. 

“Oh, we can fix that. Wait here,” Ray squeezes her shoulder, bolting from the room, only to return less than a minute later with a bag filled with paper. “Here,” he hands it over. 

“What’s this?” Nora asks, taking it tentatively. 

“Ava gave it to me. To give back to you. It’s yours, they’re yours. And I thought you might… I didn’t know if you’d want to keep them or not.” He’s babbling, unable to quite meet her eye. 

Nora tips the contents out onto the bed. ( _ Her  _ bed, she reminds herself.) It’s letters. A whole batch of them. Some written on white paper, others cream and thick as fabric, some with letterheads from a hundred years ago and others scrawled on the corners of parchment. She knows them all personally, has memorised most by heart. The content and the way Ray makes his ‘t’s, the smudgy dots of his ‘i’s. They’re all letters from him, months and months of paper and ink which she read in her cell. Each one its own bright spot in her week. Each one allowing her, just for a few minutes, to be somewhere else. 

“Ray, I…” Nora still isn’t sure what to say, unable to hide her smile but not knowing how to put everything these letters mean to her into words. 

“You don’t have to keep them,” he shrugs, like it’s no big deal. “I just mean… I’ve got all of yours, and I figured-” Nora surprises him, and herself, by wrapping his arms around his middle and leaning in for a hug. 

He’s so tall that her face collides with his collar bone, and she whispers a thank you into his t-shirt. His arms encircle her back, and she decides then and there that she’s going to be happy here. Wonders how she ever could have doubted that. 

Nora lasts four nights in her room, falling asleep at the end of Ray’s bed on night five after staying up too long talking about nothing in particular. When she wakes up, it’s five a.m and she’s wrapped in the soft blanket she knows is Ray’s favourite. Her eyes find him, asleep on a pile of pillows on the ground, faded light creeping in under the door and colouring his cheeks, sparking the undertones in his hair. He looks peaceful and contented, his soft breaths the only sound in the world right now. Something in Nora’s chest shifts, like her heart moves over to make room for his. That’s when she understands it, watching Ray through the darkness on the waverider. She understands awful, soppy love songs and sonnets written by candlelight, lost wars and fallen empires and teenage girls scrawling names in hearts. 

From then on, she slowly moves into Ray’s room. Nobody questions it, least of all Ray himself. 

Their first mission is a week after she moves in, a siren murdering fishermen in the 1890s. She and Ray quarterback from the waverider, something Nora’s incredibly glad of when the team comes back covered in fish guts. Mission two is two weeks later, a shrinking potion in Tudor England where Nora and Sara befriend Anne Boleyn and help Constantine exorcise Katherine of Aragon. 

Mission three comes soon after Nora’s been on the waverider for a month, something changing the timeline in the mid-1930s. They assume, when Sara tells them that, that it’s impacted the outcome of World War Two, but there’s no recorded affects until the 1960s when, according to Gideon, a  _ Third  _ World War breaks out and wipes out half the population. 

“So, it’s no big deal then,” Ray gulps, watching Sara nervously. 

“Nothing we can’t handle, right?” Charlie feigns confidence, a slight tremor barely perceptible in her voice. 

“That’s the right attitude!” Sara points at Charlie as everyone else exchanges nervous glances. “C’mon guys. Suit up,” Sara claps her hands together and the rest of the team take it as their cue to slowly trickle out of the room. 

“Hey,” Ray stops Nora in the doorway, gently catching her elbow. “If you wanted to sit this one out, I’m sure Sara and everyone would understand,” he tells her quietly, pulling her to one side. 

It’s sweet, the way he seems to care about her, is always making sure that she’s ok, that she isn’t put in any kind of situation she’s uncomfortable with. No one's ever cared for her like this before. No ulterior motive. Just ‘cos. 

“I’m ok, Ray,” Nora assures him. “I can do this,” she nods, and she’s certain. 

It’s still early days, but she’s learning how to use her magic for  _ good.  _ A goodness sparked by Ray when he asked her to help John, a seed that’s been steadily growing inside her mind. Half a belief that she can be a good person. 

The darkness is always going to be there, she knows that, knows there’s no cure to over twenty years of demonic possession, to the magic running through her veins being twisted up with the evil her father gifted to her. The magic and the darkness run together, woven into her DNA, stuck together and a part of her. But there’s something new there now too, and it’s keeping her good. 

It’s Zari teaching her how to play video games and Charlie sleepily handing her one of her headphones. It’s beers with John, Mick and Sara at the end of the day, Gideon’s finest hot chocolate before bed. It’s falling asleep to the steady rhythm of Ray’s breaths. 

“You’re sure?” Ray double checks, holding onto her shoulders now and studying her eyes. Nora looks back into his and finds hints of steel, something hardened and protective. 

“I promise I’ve got this,” she says, reaching up to squeeze one of his hands on her shoulder. 

“Ok,” he studies her expression one final time, checking for cracks in his resolve. 

Nora knows that he’s a man of science, won’t go ahead with anything high risk unless he’s assessed the situation from every angle. She wonders how high risk  _ she  _ is to Ray. And if she’s high, is it because he doesn’t quite trust her not to go back to the darkness when it calls it back, or because (she’s almost afraid to let herself think it)  _ losing  _ her is high risk to him? 

Ray seems to finish his mental calculations, taking a deep breath. “Then let's go,” he says definitively, and she follows him away. 

They pinpoint the location of the magic to an estate in Southern Italy, belonging to a princess, and split into groups to search the house and grounds as soon as they land. Lucky for them, the princess has chosen that day to host a garden party, so Nora puts on her best Italian accent and spends an hour in a corner of the garden fake laughing at Ray’s jokes whilst they carefully watch the partygoers to see if they can find anything out of the ordinary. 

There are moments between the team’s conversation over comms, between trying to figure out if the servers are scheming something or just having a normal conversation in the shadowy part of the garden, that Nora can take a breath and pretend this is her life. That she’s the kind of woman who wears floral dresses and spends her sundays at garden parties with her hair in a complicated up do, sipping colourful drinks and stealing glances at dark haired men in tailored shirts. Or more specifically, Ray, whose eyes are sparkling in the sunlight and who is pretending to be her American date. 

“What’s she doing? That girl over there?” Nora looks pointedly in the direction of a server digging frantically through the pocket in her apron. A beat later and she’s pulling a tiny hip flask out, making Nora stand up a little straighter. “Is that poison?” She nudges Ray. 

But then the server raises it to her own lips, taking a deep gulp before screwing the lid back on and tucking it back into her pocket. 

“Ah. Maybe not,” Ray sounds apologetic. Nora deflates. 

An older woman standing nearby spends a second too long watching them for it to be normal curiosity. “Someone’s getting a little  _ starey _ ,” Nora tells Ray between the gritted teeth of a fake smile. 

Ray follows her gaze, locates the woman frowning at them. He looks away quickly, feigning a laugh. 

“Just act natural,” he tells Nora. 

“I  _ am _ !” She reaches up to brush lint from the shoulder of his shirt, thumb brushing the soft fabric. 

They’re supposed to be a couple. She guesses they could be selling it a little better. 

“Oh. Thanks,” Ray says quietly. “Uh, while we’re at it-” he reaches a hand towards her hair. “May I?” 

He’s so close that Nora can practically feel sparks from his fingertips. The way she always can when they touch, skin on skin. She just isn’t quite sure what it means yet. She locks eyes with him, nodding to let him know it’s ok. 

If it wasn’t such a warm day, she’d wonder whether there was a light blush colouring his cheeks. But of course, it’s just the sunshine, just the stress of the mission.

There’s a thin strand of hair falling onto her cheek, having found its way out of the overly complicated up do which Sara and Zari cobbled together five minutes before leaving the waverider. Ray reaches up carefully, fingers slowly brushing it back to tuck it behind her ear, leaving a pattern of electricity along her cheek. His hand stays in place for a second, and then another and another. Fingers in her hair, thumb brushing her jaw. Gentle and careful and perfectly Ray. 

The moment is broken by a glass smashing, a guest dropping a champagne flute nearby. Nothing to worry about, but enough to break the magic. 

“Um,” Ray pulls his hand back, tucks it awkwardly into his pocket, breaking eye contact and looking towards the house. Nora can’t help but miss his touch, feels dumb for admitting that to herself. She isn’t used to missing people. Isn’t used to  _ needing  _ them. “Oh,” Ray straightens, “What about him?” he gestures to an older man checking all around him as he enters the house through a side door. 

“Definitely suspicious,” Nora agrees, watching as the man quietly closes the door behind him. The moment is well and truly broken. Nora sighs, trying to refocus on the mission as Ray relays what they’ve just seen to Sara over comms. 

“Who was he?” Sara asks from the gamekeeper’s hut, right at the other end of the grounds. 

“Just some shady guy,” Nora switches her comms on and tells her quietly. 

“Like regular dude shady or  _ shady  _ shady?” Sara checks. Ray leans forward, trying to get a good view inside of the house but losing his footing and falling into Nora instead, apologising quickly under his breath. 

Nora bites back a smile, “unconfirmed.”

“Well, how about you guys stop flirting and go check it out?” Sara suggests. 

“We weren’t-”

“It’s not-” Ray and Nora both begin to protest at the same time, both faltering at once. 

“We’re just trying to blend in!” Ray hisses. 

“Sure you are.”

Shady dude is a bust - they find him on the first floor making out with an enthusiastic maid - but Nora’s bothered by something upstairs. It’s a low humming sound, set at a perfect pitch to be annoying. The closer they get to the staircase leading to the second and third floors, the more persistent it gets, like something lodged in her ear, frying her brain. 

“What  _ is  _ that?” Nora asks, rubbing her temple and trying to focus on anything other than the humming. 

“What?” Ray looks down at her, concern written on his face. The raw kind of emotion that Nora’s never associated with herself before. Has seen it written on the faces of countless loved ones of people her father has demanded information from before. Wakes up to nightmares featuring each and every one of them. Seared into her mind until the day she dies. 

“That humming. Can’t you hear it?”

“Humming? No?”

“It’s like a…” she clicks her fingers, trying to think of the right word. The static sound she associates with old music. “Like tuning a radio.”

“Is it loud?” Ray asks, putting a hand between Nora’s shoulder blades, keeping her grounded. All she can do is nod. “Where’s it coming from? It’s got to be the source of the magic, right? Some, some kind of ancient being calling out to other magic users,” Ray theorises. “Guys,” Ray taps the small comms device in his ear, “I think there’s something weird upstairs.”

“Did you find something?” It’s Zari this time, speaking from the east wing of the house. 

“Maybe. It’s something emitting a kind of low frequency?” He looks to Nora for confirmation. 

“Mmhmm.” 

“John, any ideas?” Ray asks, thumb rubbing soothing circles on Nora’s back as she clenches her eyes shut. Somehow knowing exactly what she needs. 

“A frequency?” John answers, from the basement. “It better not be that bloody siren woman again.”

“Not a siren,” Nora shakes her head. “But it... I need to find it. It wants to be found.”

“Nora, what if it’s not safe? If it wants to be found then it might want to be  _ used _ , and we have no idea what it is or what it does,” Ray reasons, voice even and calming. 

“Well, we’re the closest to it. And we need to stop it before it starts world war three. So,” she shrugs, opening her eyes and taking a steadying breath. “Let’s find it.”

They find the chalice on the third floor, on a plinth in a room painted red. Nora’s drawn to it across the room, touches it before Ray can stop her. The second she does, the humming stops, like it really was calling out to her all along and now it’s satisfied. Nora curls her hand around its stem, lifting it lightly, testing its weight. 

“Nora?” Ray calls from the doorway, taking a careful step towards her. 

“It’s fine. It’s not an evil magical being. Just a cup,” she lifts it, wiggling it in Ray’s general direction. 

“Did you say a cup?” Constantine’s voice crackles through the comms. 

“Uh,” Ray, now confident that nothing is possessing Nora, walks to her and looks closely at the chalice. “More of a chalice. Complete with rubies and-” he pauses, scanning the inscription, “Latin inscription,” he traces the words with his index finger. 

“Oh  _ hell- _ ” John starts, but there’s a crackling sound and then a door slamming right outside in the hallway. Nora drops the chalice back onto its plinth, freezing in place as she and Ray stare at the door, willing it not to open. 

Unfortunately for them, it does. There’s a moment of silence as they watch it slide open and take in the blonde hair, shining dress, surprised expression of the newcomer in the room. It’s the princess, looking half like she’s ready to fight and half like she’s ready to run. 

“What is this? This room is out of bounds to guests,” she tells them, folding her arms across her chest and waiting for their response. Nora and Ray are both frozen in place in front of the chalice. 

“You think I didn’t tell him that!” Nora throws her hands into the air in mock exasperation, fake Italian accent back in full force. “He never listens to me. We were just looking for somewhere a little quieter,” she giggles, earning a look of disbelief from Ray. The princess is looking at them like she doesn’t believe a word of it, so Nora ups her game, stepping closer to Ray and wrapping an arm around him. “We just got married. You know how it is,” she winks at the princess. 

“Well, actually...” the princess starts, shuffling uncomfortably in place. Nora feels a surge of hope. Anything to melt the princess’ resolve. 

“It’s been crazy. No time to ourselves since the wedding.” Nora giggles again, tapping the back of Ray’s foot with her own. If he doesn’t play along, they could be risking everything. 

“Huh! Yep. That’s how it’s been. Super busy. So married,” Ray agrees, stretching an arm around Nora’s waist, pulling her close. Nora reminds herself to focus on the mission at hand, not how comforting it is to be so close together. Not how  _ right  _ it feels. 

“That’s… nice,” the princess sneers. “But you really can’t be in here. These artefacts are priceless.”

“We’re very sorry,” Nora apologises convincingly. 

“You know what, I’ll have my guards escort you back into the garden,” the princess offers them a tight-lipped smile. “We wouldn’t want you getting lost again.”

“Oh, that’s really not-” Ray protests, but the princess is already turning on her heel to exit the room. 

Nora can hear her calling for her guards, knows they have seconds to escape before they’re either escorted out without another chance to access the chalice, or else questioned about their true intentions in the room and sent to 1930s jail.

“Come on,” Nora grabs the chalice with one hand and Ray’s wrist with another, tugging him out of the room. 

“But- _ ”  _ he starts to protest, sliding his wrist out of her grasp and catching her fingers instead. Nora forces herself to ignore the sparks making their way up her arm. But there’s no  _ time  _ for this. 

“Do you want to get out of here or not?” Nora asks, focusing all of her energy on dragging Ray towards the door. “We have the cup,” she tells the others. 

“I’ll meet you downstairs,” is Zari’s reply. 

Ray finally gets the memo that they need to  _ run _ , gripping Nora’s hand as they exit the room and head in the opposite direction as the princess, who is leaning over the bannisters to yell for her guards. 

“Wait!” The princess spots them as Nora picks a door to go through at the other end of the hallway, not entirely confident that it leads out of here instead of the dead end of another room. “ _ Stop them _ ,” the princess screams, and despite everything Nora’s smiling, adrenaline pumping through her veins. 

“This is definitely a dead end,” Ray grimaces as they reach the door, but there’s a smile in his words too. There’s something about a high stakes chase through history that makes a person forget all of their other problems. 

Nora holds her breath as she pushes the door open, relief flooding her body as she finds a narrow hallway leading to a back set of stairs, a server emerging at the top of them with a jug of water. 

“You should have more faith in me,” Nora looks back at Ray, watching as the door slams shut behind him. 

“Noted.”

They’re within sight of freedom, steps away from the side door of the house, when one of the guards appears in the spot which had seemed clear a second ago. 

“ _ No _ ,” Nora pushes Ray backwards, around the corner. 

There’s nowhere to turn. The princess is hot on their trail, the house surrounded by guards. They exchange a worried glance, Ray trying the handle of the room closest to them. The door opens, and they pour in without checking where they are.

It’s some kind of large storage closet, full of coats and leather bags, fur hats and cashmere scarves. 

“I guess this is where the princess stores her winter outfits,” Ray muses, poking a large hat with what looks like an entire stuffed eagle on top of it. 

“Yikes,” Nora looks around, checking they’re safe in here, closing the curtain over the room’s sole window. They’re ok. For now, anyway. She has no doubt that the princess is ordering a full search of the house as they speak. 

The room is still and quiet, winter clothes piled so high that Ray and Nora are forced to stand close together in the centre. She had dropped his hand when they entered the room, missing the contact now, clutching the chalice tighter to make up for it. 

“So,” Ray looks down at her, smiling a little. “That was quick thinking up there.”

Nora bites her lip, looks down at her shoes. “I’m sorry if it was weird.” The toes of their shoes are almost touching. Heart still pumping adrenaline around her body, Nora slides one foot forward and nudges the edge of Ray’s shoe with her own. 

If she looked up now, she’s pretty sure he’d be within kissing distance. She’s not sure what that means, what she wants to do with that information, just that it’s a fact. That somehow, her life has brought her to this point. A closet in 1930s Italy, magical chalice in hand, thinking about how soft Ray’s lips might be. It’s ridiculous and beautiful all at once. 

“It was nice.” Ray’s voice is barely above a whisper, for reasons Nora is pretty sure aren’t related to the fact that they’re in hiding right now. 

“I guess I’m just a risk taker,” she shrugs, lifting her chin. 

She was right. 

She could absolutely kiss him right now. 

“Hmm. Maybe that’s why I love you.”

He says it casually, the way he absently explains what he’s doing in his lab when she makes a home on the countertop some afternoons. Like it’s a known fact. Solid as science. 

“You  _ what _ ?” Nora steps back, heart skipping a beat. She almost trips over a stack of bags behind her, stabilised only by Ray reaching for her arm. 

“I, uh-” now it’s Ray’s turn to look at their shoes, seeming to realise what he had said for the first time. “I… yeah…” he nods, Nora watching his internal struggle. “I love you. I’ve known for a while now, and this isn’t how I’d choose to tell you… in a closet… I mean, we haven’t even had a conversation about  _ us _ , about what we are. And that’s ok, that’s not important! I just want to make sure you’re happy. I always want you to be happy, Nora. I… I love you.” He looks up, meeting her eyes, and Nora’s heart constricts in her chest, filling up with warmth and happiness and… and  _ love.  _ He loves her. Nora doesn’t think anyone’s ever loved her before, not like this. Not in a way that makes her feel like home. 

“Ray, I’m-” 

There’s a rattling sound, stunning her into silence, and then there’s movement and the door’s opening and  _ the guards have found them _ , and-

“Why are you in a closet?” It’s Zari, standing in the doorway, frowning at them. 

“Uh-” neither Ray or Nora are sure how to answer. 

“Oh,” Zari’s eyes flicker between them. “Is this… were you…?”

“No!”

“We wouldn’t-”

And then there’s a thumping sound at the room’s tall window, a squeak of the latch, and a pair of boots pushing through the curtain. Ray, Nora, and Zari freeze, each holding their breath as there’s a scraping sound and then-

“Z!  _ Close the door _ .” It’s Sara, somehow having managed to wiggle through the high-up window in the side of a very well guarded house. 

“Oh. Right,” Zari shuts the room door behind her. 

“So,” Sara holds out her hand, gesturing to the chalice. “What are we dealing with here?”

It only takes five minutes for the rest of the legends to assemble in the closet, standing close enough that they’re all pressed together, elbows in ribs, hair in eyes. 

“What is it?” Zari asks John, who is holding it up to the light and squinting at the Latin inscription. 

“One of two things,” is his response. 

“How much is it worth?” Is Mick’s question. 

“What can it  _ do _ ?” Is Charlie’s. 

“We should take it back to the waverider. Figure it out there,” Ray declares. Nora can’t help but notice that he’s spoken to everyone  _ but  _ her since Zari interrupted them. 

“You said you could hear a humming sound?” John asks Nora, ignoring Ray’s suggestion. 

“Yeah,” she nods. “Like it was calling out to me. It only stopped when I touched it.” She reaches up now to trace the inscription. 

It seems to come to life at her touch, the particles humming under her fingertips. Suddenly, the sound is back. Quiet this time, a background drone, but still there. 

“Wait-” Zari frowns, leaning closer. “I think I can hear it?”

“Me too,” Sara agrees, looking a little unsettled. 

“Nora. Let go of it,” John tells her, an edge of urgency in his voice. 

“I just touched it,” she pulls her hand back as if she’s been burned. “Nothing happened when I did that last time.”

“But the word you touched,” John twists the chalice, eyes skimming over the Latin. “Ah,” he visibly deflates. 

“What is it?” Ray asks. 

“It kind of sounds like it’s about to…” Zari trails off, the word they’re all thinking going unsaid. There’s a split second filled with Charlie’s cussing when they stand frozen to the spot instead of making a run for it. 

And then the chalice explodes into a ball of light. 

“Nora?” Ray’s voice is the first thing she hears, blinking against harsh light. Her foot is wedged in Charlie’s ribs, several leather bags sitting on top of her stomach. 

“What happened? Why does everything feel wrong?” Nora groans, struggling to sit up. 

“There was some kind of weird magic explosion, and I was so worried about you. You don’t even-”

“Ray! Let her wake up,” Sara’s snapping her fingers at him from the other side of the closet. 

It only takes a few seconds for Nora to get her bearings, getting to her feet as Charlie’s waking up. The chalice had exploded, knocking them all unconscious and scattering the contents of the room so that there are sporadic piles of coats and hats everywhere. 

Nora takes in the scene in front of her, realising that the explosion wasn’t totally normal in nature. Zari and John are bickering loudly in the corner, Mick’s shaking his head like there’s water trapped in his ears, Sara whispering something hurriedly to Ray. 

“What the bloody hell happened?” Charlie pipes up from the ground. “Why does it feel like I’ve been kicked in the ribs? Like that time I lost a fight to that elf.” Charlie claps her hand over her mouth as soon as she’s finished speaking, eyes wide. “Why did I tell you that? It’s bloody embarrassing, losing a fight to an elf.”

“I think the explosion did something to us,” Nora explains, extending a hand to help Charlie up. 

“Thanks,” Charlie takes it, slowly getting to her feet. “You know what, I’m really starting to feel at home with you lot. I’m actually glad you took me prisoner,” Charlie tells her, before her eyes widen in embarrassment again. “ _ Bollocks _ .”

“Hey,” Nora notices something missing from the centre of the closet. “Where’s the cup gone? Did one of you take it?” She looks around at them all, everyone paying attention to her now. 

“That’s what I’m trying to figure  _ out _ , if you’d all stop arguing with each other. This  _ always happens _ ,” Sara growls at Zari and John, who have the good sense to look slightly ashamed for a second. 

“Zari,” Nora is suddenly overwhelmed by the need to tell her something, which she knows, in the rational part of her brain, doesn’t make any sense. But the rational part isn’t very loud right now, like she’s trying to think through syrup. The loudest part is the part telling her to tell Zari the thing she’s been hiding from her. “I ate your last donut two days ago. It wasn’t Mick. It was me.”

“Nora. I know it was you. I didn’t say anything because you were in time bureau jail for months and I figured you could use some actual sugar,” Zari assures her. 

“I told you it would be alright,” Ray smiles at Nora from across the tiny room. 

His eyes catch hers and she almost smiles back automatically before remembering what he’d said. He loves her. Ray  _ loves  _ her. There’s a second where it feels like the easiest thing in the world, where there’s only really one option. To tell him the simplest truth in the world. 

But then her attention is diverted by Charlie kicking one of the leather bags out of frustration and Nora realises she was about to tell someone she loves them for the first time in a closet full of other people after an explosion. That’s not ever something she’d  _ choose  _ to do. This has to be something to do with the explosion. With the ancient power hidden inside the chalice. For the moment, the desperate urge to tell him how she feels has gone away, but Nora keeps her eyes on Charlie or Sara or a pile of the winter coats. Anywhere but Ray. 

“Ok, ok focus up!” Sara claps her hands together to get their attention. 

“You don’t have to-” Charlie starts, but Sara doesn’t let her finish. 

“Charlie! I  _ will  _ punch anyone who interrupts me. 

John,” she turns to Constantine. “What happened to us? What  _ was  _ that? I don’t understand it, and I’m a little bit afraid of it.”

“Of course you are, love. This is all new to you,” he says wistfully. 

“Oh you think you’re  _ so  _ experienced with magic don’t you,” Sara snaps. 

“I  _ am _ ,” John counters. “The chalice of truth. That’s why we’re all…” he gestures vaguely, “like this. We can’t lie to each other. We’re being compelled to tell the truth.”

Nora’s heart sinks as soon as John stops talking. She doesn’t have a problem with the truth. She does have a problem with not being able to choose when she delivers it. With not having agency over her own decisions. That’s the way she’s spent most of her life, captive to her father's agency and the Order’s agency and Mallus’ agency. Never able to use her own. 

“That sounds fake,” Zari accuses. 

“Yesterday I accidentally listened to a beatles song and I think I liked it,” Mick announces, out of the blue. There’s a moment of stunned silence and then they’re all laughing, Nora too, momentarily forgetting the consequences the explosion might have, the way it’s turned her back into a servant to magic. 

“Ok. Ok, it’s not fake,” Zari concedes. 

“So where is it now?” Charlie asks, staring at the empty space where the chalice used to sit. 

“What are the chances it just disappeared?” Sara asks John. 

“Slim.”

“Then we need to go out there and find it. Or let  _ it  _ find us. That’s what usually happens,” Sara rolls her eyes.

“I’ll find the princess. I don’t trust her  _ one  _ bit,” John declares, moving towards the door. 

“Maybe don’t talk to anyone,” Sara advises. “Nora,” she turns her attention to her, leaning against the wall and trying not to look at Ray. Nora’s pretty sure that if she focuses hard and doesn’t look directly at him then she can avoid telling him she loves him. Can keep this decision as her own. “Can you use your weird witchy senses to try find the cup?” 

“I can’t promise anything, but I can try,” she nods. 

“I’m glad we added you to the team, Nora Darhk,” Sara smiles at her. “You should take Ray with you. You guys make a really good team.”

“I’d rather take someone else.” This isn’t what Nora  _ wants  _ to say. But it’s the truth, or part of it, because this way she offends Ray while they’re under the influence of the chalice. The other way, and she’ll spend the rest of her life knowing that the first time she ever told someone she was in love with them was under the influence of some kind of dark magic. Was another choice taken out of her hands. 

“Well that’s a little awkward,” Zari grimaces. “But I’ll go with you. I want to find out why you don’t want to pair up with Ray,” she moves towards the door. 

“Nora?” Ray questions, and Nora swears she can hear his heart breaking, his voice flooded with sadness and confusion, hurt and questions. 

“I can’t,” she shakes her head, stepping to the door and wrenching it open, afraid to look his way. She just needs to be anywhere else but here. Luckily, the hallway is empty, so she steps out. 

“So,” Zari catches up to her fast pace at the end of the hallway. “What was that about? I thought you two were a  _ thing _ . In fact, I had money riding on it so I’ll probably be disappointed if you aren’t.” She tells Nora, wrinkling her nose a second later. “Ugh. This truth curse is  _ awful.” _

_ “ _ I know it is. That’s the problem, Zari.”

“Oh no. What happened?” Zari asks, pushing open the door to the back staircase. There’s no real direction to their wandering, Nora just wants to be out of earshot of Ray. Even though it’s making her feel a little sick, knowing she’s hurting him. She’s done enough hurting people she loves for a whole lifetime. For six lifetimes back-to-back. 

“Before the curse, he told me that he loved me,” Nora tells her, half wishing she wasn’t being forced to tell anyone her business, half pleased that she has someone to talk to about her problems. That’s not something she’s had before. 

“He does!” Zari beams. “I know that! He’s loved you for so long. I called it at Woodstock.”

“He… he has?” The warm, comforting feeling is back in Nora’s chest, submerged seconds later by the heavy burden of guilt. 

“More than anything.” 

Usually, Nora would be wondering whether Zari was exaggerating things, trying to make her feel better, happier, more wanted than she has ever been. But this time, there’s no way she’s lying. Zari is speaking at least what she believes to be the honest truth. 

“But I’ve never told anyone I’m in love with them before,” Nora explains. “And I didn’t know what to say, and then you and Sara interrupted us, and now there’s this, this truth curse? And I can’t tell him like this, not when it isn’t my choice. I spent too long not having a say in my own actions. I can’t… I can’t tell him I love him like that.”

“So you do? Love him?”

“I.. I think so? Yes. Yeah. I do.” She’s never even been given the chance to love anybody before, but it doesn’t make sense for her feelings for Ray to be anything except for love. There’s nobody else who she would sacrifice everything for, if necessary. Nobody else who makes her feel safe, just by standing close by. Just through knowing that he cares about her, trusting that he’ll always have her back. 

“Nora!” Zari punches her lightly in the arm as they reach the top of the stairs. “That’s the  _ best  _ thing. Are you going to tell him? After this curse wears off? Wait, do you think it’s going to wear off? What if we’re stuck like this forever?” 

Nora hadn’t thought of that. “I could never be in the same room as Ray again,” she realises, freezing in place. “We really need to find that chalice.”

“John’s got to have some way out of this. I’m semi-confident of that.”

Either way, Nora focuses all of her energy in on the chalice. On the way it felt beneath her fingertips, the way it seemed to come alive. She closes her eyes and listens to the universe. 

The chalice isn’t it in the house. Nora and Zari clear the main rooms, the servant quarters in the east wing, bump into Mick and Charlie searching the basement. They find no less than three couples making out in shady corners of lonely rooms, have to quickly duck into two rooms to avoid guards, stumble across one maid scream-crying at another in garbled Italian, and climb a staircase that leads to a locked door with an unexplained scratching sound on the other side. But no sign of the princess or the chalice. 

Nora had expected the place to be crawling with guards searching for them, but the house is calm, the guards seemingly walking their usual patrol routes without incident, guests slowly trickling out of the garden party as it winds down for the day. 

“Why is it so quiet? It doesn’t make any  _ sense _ ,” Nora paces by the door of a drawing room they’ve stopped in to make a plan of action. The rest of the team is busy, Sara and Ray having found John, the three of them trying to come up with ways to trace the chalice or the princess with magic, and ways to break the truth curse once they do, whilst everyone else searches the house and grounds. 

“It’s magic, Nora. It’s not really designed to make sense,” Zari points out from her spot upside down on a velvet couch. 

“Magic makes more sense than  _ anything else _ right now,” Nora groans, sinking into an oversized armchair. 

“No.  _ No _ ,” Zari scrambles to sit right-way up. “Love is a beautiful thing, Nora. And you can use this curse thing to your advantage, ok?”

“How, exactly?”

“Confessing your feelings is really hard, like, even knowing where to start. And then if you mess up at the start, it puts you off your whole game and just…” Zari closes her eyes, shakes her head a little. “It can get really messy. I’ve been there, with someone I cared about a lot, and it’s just… this curse gives you the opportunity to prepare. To be honest with yourself so that later on, you can be honest with Ray.”

“And how do I do that?”

“If Ray was here right now, what would you want to tell him?” 

“Oh, that’s smart,” Nora has to hand it to Zari. She’s figuring out that, under the terms of the truth curse, she can avoid telling the complete truth by giving as little information as possible so that it barely counts as the truth. And, although she has to fight for it, lying by omission mostly works too, so long as the topic she doesn’t want to talk about doesn’t come up in conversation. What she can’t do is avoid a direct question. 

“I know it is,” Zari agrees. 

“What would I want to tell him?” Nora considers the question. “I’d want him to know how I feel. All of it, from the very start. How he was the first person I met for years who I could really trust. How different he was from every other person in my life. Someone who wanted me for  _ me _ , not because of what I could do or because I’m a Darhk. Someone who believed there was goodness inside of me, even when there really wasn’t.” Nora pauses, absently playing with a loose thread on the edge of the armchair. 

She’s never articulated her feelings for Ray like this, never catalogued them quite so exactly, realised how hard she’s fallen for him. She’s not sure when it happened, not really. She blames Berlin entirely, the trip when Ray somehow broke down the hardened edges crafted by a demon and made her grudgingly accept that yes, there was some kind of connection there. The tiniest seed of a something. 

“I’d tell him how he makes me feel safe,” she continues, as Zari watches. “I mean, I can take care of myself. It’s not like I need him to fight my battles for me. But I know that he wouldn’t hesitate to. I wouldn’t even need to ask.”

“Yeah. That’s Ray.”

“And sometimes I wake up and he’s sleeping next to me and it’s like… like I’ve never felt so calm? So at peace?” Nora takes a breath. “I’d just want him to know that. That he makes me feel like it’s all going to be ok.”

“I never thought I’d see this,” Zari interrupts. “Nora Darhk, talking about her feelings. At one point I didn’t even think you  _ had  _ feelings.” There’s a thin book strategically positioned on the end table to Nora’s right. She  _ strategically  _ throws it at Zari’s head, smirking as Zari ducks just in time. “Ok, ok. I’m sorry. Look, truth curse. I’m just being honest,” she shrugs. “But seriously. It sounds like you know what you need to say. So once this curse is all out of your system, you can get on that.”

“Yeah. I guess I can.”

“I’m happy for you two. It’s nice to see my friends happy,” Zari comments, leaning back against the couch, tilting her head to the ceiling. 

“I’m your friend?” Nora blinks, having been mostly convinced that the rest of the legends were just tolerating her for Ray’s sake up until this point. 

“Nora! Of course you are, you tiny weirdo!”

Nora bites back a smile as the comms in her ear crackle to life. 

“Legends,” it’s Sara. “Meet us back at the waverider.”

They’re pretty sure that the chalice has left the time period, along with the princess. How exactly, they’re not sure, but there’s no trace of any magic in the 1930s any more, just a record of a mysteriously disappearing princess instead. Vanishing after a garden party at her country home, never to be seen again. 

The only thing the legends can do now is wait. Wait for any new traces of magic to be picked up across the timeline. On the bright side, they’ve pushed world war three back by fifteen years, so at least the trip to Italy did  _ something  _ good. On the down side, they’re all still stuck telling the truth. There’s some feeble hope that the chalice will relinquish its hold on them once they leave the 1930s, get far away from the place where it cursed them, but there’s no such luck. And now Nora’s problem is twofold because she  _ still  _ can’t even look at Ray, and now she has to beg Zari to avoid him too. Because she knows the truth now, and there’s no unknowing it. There’s just the risk that she’ll get talking to Ray and tell him everything. It’s hard enough for Nora to imagine telling him under this curse, but to have someone  _ else  _ tell him under the curse would be even worse. Something she can’t bear the thought of. 

Sara tells them to eat and sleep, make sure they’re ready for a fight if Gideon is able to locate the chalice in the timeline. (If, not when. They’re stuck being honest and none of them is completely confident that there’s an end to this.) They head to 2018, park in Washington, Sara leaving to update Ava on the situation (“and probably make out with her,” she is forced to admit.)

Nora heads for her room, anxiety and guilt coiling tightly in her stomach. The idea of trying to fall asleep by herself, in the quiet darkness of her room, isn’t one she’s particularly looking forward to, but she tells herself it will just be for one night. One night, and then Gideon will find the chalice somewhere in history, John will send it to hell and break the curse, and everything can go back to normal. 

Nora freezes as she rounds the corner. Ray’s outside his room, speaking quietly with Charlie. She considers taking a step back and sneaking away, but hesitates a second too long, and they see her. 

“Nora!” Ray freezes too. “Are you… are you ok?” He asks, voice heavy with concern.

“I think I will be. Once we break this curse.” She tries to keep her answer short and to the point. No danger of accidentally saying anything she shouldn’t.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for telling you I love you. You don’t have to say it back. Just… just talk to me? Please?” 

And then she’s about to tell him. His heart is breaking right in front of her, and she  _ has  _ to tell him. Can’t lie by omission when he’s standing this close, wanting to hear the absolute truth. It’s all clear now. So easy to just speak those three little words, make everything ok again. 

“Ray. I-” there’s a hand over her mouth. 

“Ray, trust me. I can’t let her speak to you right now,” it’s Zari, physically stopping Nora from having her choice taken away from her. “This is something she needs to have a choice in.” Nora can tell Zari is painstakingly choosing her words. Telling as little of the truth as the curse will allow. “And we’re going to leave now. But this will all make sense soon, I  _ promise _ ,” Zari assures him, pulling Nora away. 

“That’s not very reassuring!” Ray calls after them. 

“When the hell are you gonna stop being so  _ weird _ ?” Charlie yells at them.

“When the curse breaks!” Zari replies, honestly. 

Gideon locates the chalice in the dead of the night, Sara having set up an alarm to go off of it was located. It goes off just after three a.m, local time, a steady beeping waking them all up in a hurry, Sara’s sleep-thick voice telling them all it’s time to go. 

They all show up in pajamas, not knowing which time period to dress for yet, all bleary eyes and messy hair. Nora watches Ray out of the corner of her eye, careful not to catch his attention too much. Just a few more hours, she tells herself. A few more hours and this will all be dealt with. He doesn’t look like he’s slept at all, standing at the opposite end of the room to her and watching the ground, arms folded across his chest. Nora’s not sure she’s ever hated herself more. 

“1961, Cambridge University, England,” Sara announces, tapping the location on the screen with a pen. “There’s magic,” she yawns, “and our old friend the princess is back.” The screen changes, shows a grainy photo of a blonde haired woman with flowers in her hair. She’s older than the princess was before, a little rougher around the edges. But unmistakably her. “John, what are our chances of stopping this thing?”

“Somewhere between ‘terrible’ and ‘not great’, love.”

“So, really not any worse than usual,” Sara shrugs. “Let’s roll out!”

The team dresses hurriedly, all eager to finish the mission; stop world war three; and get back to their usual selves. Sara and John devise a plan of action quickly, splitting the team into groups so that they have the best odds of finding the chalice. John, Ray, and Mick head to gather the ingredients needed for a spell John thinks will work on he princess and the chalice. He explains to them all that he’s pretty sure the chalice and princess are working together, feeding off of each other’s powers. That, in actuality, there are two magical anachronisms. 

”She’s a sort of telepath. Got to be,” John tells them as they walk towards the university’s records office. “I just don’t know how deep her powers run. Maybe don’t piss her off,” he suggests. 

“We don’t have the best track record there,” Ray points out. 

“I’m only too aware of that,” John says, exasperated. 

“Can we just make this quick?” Mick grumbles, “I was up all night writing my next book. It’s based on a true story.”

The grainy photo ID supplied by Gideon tells the team what years the princess was in attendance at the university, along with her last name - or at least, the one she’s using here. Ricci, first initial A. With no other trace of her on the internet, and no digital records st the university in the 1960s, they’re forced to dig through the physical records in the records office. Their first challenge is to gain access, past the receptionist, without being able to lie. No telling her they’re records inspectors, new professors, concerned admin staff from another building, or anything else to that effect. No distracting the receptionist with lies whilst the others sneak in. 

“We’re going to have to get old school,” Sara frowns as she, Nora, Zari and Charlie watch the records office from the middle of a busy quad. 

“Chloroform?” Suggests Charlie, sounding a little hopeful. 

“Magic?” Is Nora’s suggestion, looking at her own hands, although she’s not even sure she’d be able to use her magic for devious purposes right now. 

“No. Worse,” Sara groans. “We’re just going to have to physically sneak in.”

The reception desk is pretty high, the door for entry to the records office to it's right. There’s a code for entry, easily gained by sitting right at the edge of the quad for twenty minutes and watching a few faculty coming and going through the door, checking the numbers they input to gain access. It takes a few tries to get the complete code, some faculty carefully covering the panel as they type in the code, others’ fingers moving so quickly it’s impossible to see which numbers they’re choosing. Nora’s stomach ties itself in knots, guilt growing with each passing minute. She just wants this over, as quickly as possible. Before the damage she’s done sets into stone. Before she’s beyond forgiveness. 

Added to everything is the fact that she just really, really  _ misses  _ Ray. She misses peacefully falling asleep next to him, waking up from a nightmare and instantly being calmed by his presence. She misses holding his hand just ‘cos, the calming circles his thumb carves over hers. She misses talking to him about everything - his reassurance that butter in coffee  _ is  _ a good health choice, their talks about links between magic and science. It’s only been one day without him, and she knows it’s this day versus the rest of her life, that it’s worth it, really, for both of their sakes. 

Once they have the code in full, Sara’s plan becomes clearer to them. She stations Charlie right outside the door to the reception in case anyone tries to get in before they’re through the door to the records office. 

“Just stand there and tie your shoelaces. It won’t take us long to get in.”

“I’m concerned about how vague you’re being,” Zari admits. 

“You’re pretty good at cheating this whole truth system,” Nora observes. 

“Yeah, well. I’m a pretty good liar,” Sara shrugs. 

Sara’s solution to being unable to lie their way in is to climb through a window. Not a window into the records office directly, with there only been a couple of tiny ones right at the top of the walls to protect the records from overexposure to natural lights. Sara’s plan is to climb through the window in the reception, right next to the records office door.  _ Just _ out of view of the receptionist. 

“Sara,” Zari stops her as she’s jimmying the window open. “This is probably going to go horribly.”

“It’s going to be  _ fine _ , Z. This plan took me six minutes to come up with, and we’re kind of on a clock here,” Sara goes back to slowly wiggling the lock. On the other side of the building, they can see Charlie reaching down to untie her lace. 

“Wait, are we actually on a clock? I know this is horrific, but do you know something? Are we going to be  _ stuck  _ like this?” Zari asks, her face a picture of horror. 

“No!” Sara insists. 

“Then what?” Nora wants to know, panic turning her veins icy. 

“I… I got in a fight with Ava, ok? There’s a fugitive they’re finding it hard to stop, and I told her the methods she were using were useless. Which they  _ are  _ in this case. Usually, they’re fantastic. But not in this case. So we need to wrap this up so I can go make things right.”

“Oh thank  _ God _ ,” Nora can’t help but feel relieved. 

It’s not that she wants there to be any problems between Sara and Ava. She cares about them both, somehow they worked their way into her life and now she wants them to be happy. But she’s relieved that there’s no time limit on this, no danger that they’ll be stuck like this forever if they don’t fix everything right this second. And, as much as she hates it, she’s a little relieved that it’s not just her having relationship problems because of the curse. 

“I know that lying to people you care about is wrong, but being completely honest  _ all of the time  _ just doesn’t work,” Nora sighs. “Especially when it takes away your choices.”

“Exactly,” Sara nods, as the window catch pops open. 

“Let’s go fix this,” Zari gestures for Sara to climb through the window first. 

They find the records for the princess quickly enough, only running into one other person, who Sara has to knock out after Zari starts telling him the explicit details of their plan. 

Aurora Ricci- that’s what the princess is going by these days. She’s a grad student studying - to no one’s surprise - Latin. There’s a campus address listed in her records, so Sara pockets the paper and they exit the office the same way they came in. Nora can’t help but feel hopeful as they head towards the dorm block the princess lives in. 

The princess isn’t in her room, just a neatly made bed and a stack of neatly folded laundry. It takes them an hour to find the princess, after her roommate directs them to the library, by which time all of the ingredients for the spell have also been gathered.

“Stop!” Nora pauses, mid step outside of the library. Something isn’t right. The world just slightly off what it should be. She takes a second to try and work out why. 

“Nora? Are you hurt?” Ray’s there, right at her side, checking her over with his eyes. Even when he thinks he messed up, he still cares about her. It’s enough to make Nora want to cry, want to turn to him and confess everything here and now. But she’s almost made it to the end. 

“Can you hear it, Nora? The chalice?” Constantine steps in front of her, gripping her by the shoulders. 

“I… I think so?” There is a sound. Something right in the background. Almost as if it’s coming from inside her own mind. But it’s lower than before, steadier and slower. She shuts her eyes, blocks everything else out, and focuses all of her energy on listening to the universe. Remembers how the cup felt beneath her fingertips. Draws up all of her power. “She’s this way,” Nora announces, pointing inside the building. She’s going to find the princess. She’s going to fix everything. 

Nora had been right. It was the cup, calling out to her. They find the princess in the library’s archives, surrounded by stacks of dust-covered books. The one she has open in front of her has yellowed pages with gilded edges, is a muddle of twisted diagrams and italic Latin. At her feet is a plain black backpack, which Nora knows without a shadow of doubt contains the chalice. There’s probably no way she leaves home without it. 

The princess looks up from the book, nonchalant at first, turning into something like fear when her eyes find Nora and Ray. She pushes her chair back, gets to her feet. It’s hard to see her properly in the archive’s low light, but as she steps closer, Nora can make out dark circles under her eyes, the way her cheeks are sunken, hair wild. 

“I knew you’d come,” she hisses at them. 

“Oh yeah?” Constantine rounds on her. “How did you work that out?” 

“After I cursed you and took back my rightful property. I knew it was only a matter of time.”

John’s assessing the princess, Nora knows. His mind working a thousand miles a minute. He’s searching her for magic, looking for signs of darkness, wondering whether she’s operating under her own free will. Trying to decide what to do next. What the princess deserves. 

“Now that you can only speak the truth, don’t you feel free? Don’t you feel better?” The princess tilts her head to one side, surveying them all one by one. 

“No!” The legends reply as one, compelled to answer truthfully. 

“Nobody needs  _ this much  _ truth,” Sara tells the princess. “What good can possibly come of it?”

“The truth will bring a day of reckoning. And we will see who comes out on top then.”

“Let me guess - you can see yourself as queen of the castle in that situation?” John grimaces. 

“Finally, I will have my chance to lead us into a new age. An age of light.”

“Billions of people are going to die if you do this!” Zari counters, disgust in her voice. 

The princess doesn’t look bothered by this. “The truth will out. It will set us free.”

“Right,” John doesn’t look impressed. “And just so I’m clear. Whose plan is this? Yours?” He points at the princess, “or your sparkly friend?”

“ _ Mine _ !” The princess insists. “It’s my idea. My future. My freedom. The chalice of truth is just a means to an end.”

“Ok. Ok,” John nods slowly. “Thanks very much for that. Ray, Mick?” John spins around to face them. “Hand me the ingredients.”

“What? What are you doing?” The princess demands. 

“Well, since you’re so keen on the truth, let’s see if you can handle it. We’re going to send you to hell,” John tells her, immediately launching into his spell. 

The second John opens the portal, the chalice protests. There’s a shrill, high pitched sound emitting from the backpack near Nora’s feet. Everyone slams their hands over their ears, with the exception of John who is only just managing to hold the princess still with the use of the portal. Nora dives for the backpack, hardly able to stand the sound of the chalice’s screams, ripping open the bag as quickly as she can and feeling for the rubies and gold. She finds it, wrenching it from the bag, closing her fist around the stem. As suddenly as its protests began, it silences. 

“No!” The princess roars, feet slipping, being slowly pulled backwards. “ _ Traitor _ !” She hisses. It takes Nora a second to realise that the princess is addressing none other than the chalice, which doesn’t make sense until a second later, a smooth warmth spreading around her body from her fingertips. From the chalice itself. 

“Nora! Put it down. Put it down  _ now _ ,” Constantine snaps, voice as commanding as Nora’s ever heard it. 

And she’s about to put it down, about to drop it and step back and help John send it and the princess both to hell, but then… then she wonders why. She knows, somehow, without knowing how, that the chalice doesn’t want to go down with the princess. That somewhere in there is a sentience looking for a bond. That once the bond with the princess is broken, the truth curse will be shattered. And then there will be no restrictions, no more inability to control her actions. Nora will be free to speak as she pleases, act as she pleases, use her magic, be whoever she wants to be. She’s powerful, she knows that. Has never been given the option to be anything other than strong, anything less than powerful. 

What if this  _ isn't  _ where she’s supposed to be? Travelling through time with the legends? Her father would be disappointed in her, this much she’s sure of. Desperate to maintain her agency but not willing to fight for it. Giving herself up willingly to the Time Bureau.

_ Think of what we could do _ , there’s something in her head. A voice, alongside her own.  _ The world could all be yours.  _

“Nora?” Nora blinks, the voice in her head quieting. The archive quiet too now, except for the princess struggling against the portal. “Nora, put the chalice down.” It’s Ray, right in front of her, speaking softly. Words just for her. “Put it down. You don’t have to listen to it. You’re your own person. And you’re brave, and strong, and one of the kindest people I know.” 

Nora hesitates, Ray’s voice competing with the one in her head. The curse is broken now, she felt it snap, so there’s no guarantee that either of them is telling the truth. 

“You can do this. You can do anything,” Ray assures her, hands hovering as if he’s afraid she’ll fall. 

“You’re a good person, Nora,” Zari’s there too, her eyes wide like Ray’s. 

There’s a sprinkle of fear in them both, just enough for Nora to notice. And at first, she’s sure it’s fear  _ of  _ her, of what she might do. A fear born out of distrust, of not really believing that she’s capable of goodness, of changing into a better person. But then Ray asks her again, pleads with her to put down the cup, and she gets it. 

They’re scared  _ for  _ her. Scared that she’ll give in to the darkness, to the temptation the chalice is offering. And it’s an offering Nora knows all to well, something simple on the surface. Wealth and power and invincibility. But the fine print, the subtext of it all is that it comes at a price which Nora promised herself she’d never pay again. It comes at caring for nothing and nobody, at hurting anyone who even comes close to that description, at never trusting a soul. It comes at the price of loss and fear, burying your guilt until it chases you through your nightmares. It would come this time, most certainly, at losing the people standing around her. Her friends. The man she loves. It would cost her everything. 

Nora drops the cup, feels it's anger pulsing through her before relinquishing its hold. Zari throws it into the portal. The princess slips backwards with a scream.

Nora’s world turns black. 

Nora wakes up to soft breaths, the beeping of a machine, a dull headache and a light pressure on her left hand. She blinks against the harsh light, memories of the past 24 hours flooding back to her. Somehow, she’s in the waverider’s med bay. 

“Hi.” Ray is there, sitting patiently on her left side, his hand resting atop hers. There’s no one else in the room, no one else around at all. She turns to face him, finding comfort in the way he’s smiling just a little at her, as if it’s involuntary. Just a background reaction to seeing her. 

“How long was I out?” Nora asks, realising as she speaks that the inexplicable urge to tell Ray every truth she holds inside her is gone. No pressure building up inside. Just two people who can sit quietly beside each other and exist. It’s like a weight is lifted from her chest. “The curse is gone?” She checks, wanting to make sure it’s gone from everyone. That everyone else is ok. 

“Yeah. You broke it,” Ray confirms. “You haven’t been out long. Maybe an hour.” There’s something off about him, Nora realises. Like half of his mind is elsewhere. He still thinks he messed up. Her heart skips a beat when she realises that she can fix it now. 

She almost gave in to the chalice, she remembers. Its power over her was strong, tempting her back to the safe and familiar darkness she’s known for most of her life. Giving in to the control of someone else is easy, she knows. She’s fought battles for her father, given her whole self up for Mallus. (Sometimes, in quiet moments, her body feels too empty. Her brain too quiet. At first, it was lonely, but now it feels like she can really breathe clearly for the first time in her life.) She's not going back there. It’s well and truly time to carve her own path - even if she needs a sword to cut down the weeds. 

“Is everyone ok?” She confirms. 

“All fine. Apart from you,” he squeezes her hand lightly, hesitant. Unsure whether this is ok. “John thinks you just passed out. Gideon can’t find anything physically wrong, at least. The chalice was looking for someone new to use to do its bidding, and it chose you,” he explains. “It prefers  _ dark  _ magic though. That’s why you were able to stop it from taking you. Too much light,” he whispers the last part like it's something sacred. To her, it is. She never thought anyone would associate her with light. 

“Really?”

“Really.” They look at each other for a second, ten, twenty, dragging into a minute. Relishing the fact that they’re both here and alive and alone. “I’m sorry,” Ray breaks the silence. “I know I came on too strong. I know you need time and space, and I’m sorry for pressuring you, or weirding you out, or whatever happened. You don’t owe me anything, and if you want me to, I’ll leave this room right now and we can just be friends. Forget anything ever happened.”

“No,” Nora’s quick to object. She doesn’t want Ray to think she doesn’t want him in her life. Can’t stand the idea of him walking away because he thinks it’s what she wants. “No. Stay,” she squeezes his hand tight. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Ray, I… I can explain.”

“You don’t have to explain anything.”

“I want to,” she threads their fingers together, sitting up a little more. “When you told me you loved me, I wanted to say it back. I was  _ going  _ to say it back, but then Zari and Sara interrupted, and then the chalice exploded, and then… then there was the truth curse.” She pauses, taking a breath, trying to push away the tiredness creeping into the edge of her mind. “I’ve spent most of my life operating under the control of somebody else. With none of my own agency. I’ve fought and killed, tortured, separated people from their loved ones. I hurt  _ you _ .” Right now, the fact that she ever hurt him feels like the worst of it all. 

“Nora,” Ray reaches up with his free hand to push her hair away from her face, smoothing it back. She closes her eyes at his touch. “It’s ok. That’s all ok.”

“It-the point is. The point is that none of it was my choice. I didn’t have any agency. And… and I’ve never loved anybody before. And I’ve never said it to anyone either. And  _ so much  _ of my life has just been taken away from me, so many of my firsts, so many of my choices. There are gaps where I should have happy memories of growing up.” There are tears in her eyes. She doesn’t cry about her past, as a rule, because it’s a done deal. No going back. And because, most of the time, she really believes that she deserved it. But right now she’s exhausted, relieved but sad, guilty but grateful. And it’s all too much. 

“It’s ok. It’s ok,” Ray moves from his chair to Nora’s, sitting precariously on the edge and pulling her in close. 

“What I’m trying to say,” Nora continues a second later, pulling back and taking both of Ray’s hands in her own. “Is that I didn’t want the first time I told someone I loved them to be a choice that was taken away from me. I wanted it to be perfect. I wanted to know I was ready to say it, and I wanted  _ you  _ to know I was ready to say it. Ready, and sure it was what I wanted rather than just a feeling I had no choice in. But it’s real, and it’s what I want more than anything. I love you. I just love you.” Nora finishes speaking, tears tracking their way down her cheeks. Tears for the first kiss she never got to have as a teenager, the first love she never met at the college she never attended. Tears for breaking Ray’s heart and for him still being here now for her to tell him she loves him. Tears because maybe, just maybe, things are going to be ok. 

“You love me?” Ray asks, disbelief in his words. 

“I love you,” Nora confirms. 

She’s kissing him then, hands in his hair, soft at first and then desperate, deep kisses. There’s not sparks so much as fireworks, vibrant beneath her eyelids. She can taste the salt on her own lips, breathes in the faint scent of dust on his skin from the archives. For just a minute, they’re the only two people to exist in the universe. There’s no past or future, no more magic to face or demons to slay. They’re just two people in love, kissing each other for the first time. 

“I love you so much,” Ray tells her, a little breathless as they pull apart, press their foreheads together. His hands are still gently cupping her face. 

Later, she’ll tell him everything. She’ll make sure he understands exactly what he means to her. That the sound of his voice is her favourite thing, that she’d never quite felt at home anywhere until she quietly started moving into his room on the waverider. That she’s starting to think he’s absolutely the love of her life. 

Later. For now, this is enough.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you thought/come yell at me on tumblr @jakelovesamy


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